we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize