Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
