I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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