how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
