i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
