mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize