I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize