I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
