how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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