Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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