why didn't you poke me back
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize