can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
