Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
