I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
