I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
