well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
sex in a hospital.. check
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
