last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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