mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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