i permit you to call me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
