and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
