just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
