I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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