I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
