Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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