You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
