No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
