laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this just has baby written all over it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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