Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
