I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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