ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize