so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
