I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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