I wish I only lived at night.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
