Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
