I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize