My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize