I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
