is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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