a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
