I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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