i just made my gag reflex go away.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
