fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
