he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize