I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
