we have pet lesbian snakes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
