Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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