Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize