I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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