When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am naked and annoyed.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
