nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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