Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
