Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
