You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
