Where is the hickey?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
