You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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