Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
