Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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