from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
