are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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