Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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