Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
