It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
