Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
