soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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