"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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