Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize