lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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