4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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