too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
