Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
