I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
