my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
